Where are you headed?
My life has been a whirlwind over the last couple of weeks. Within that time period I have taught my last lesson as a snowboard instructor, packed up my stuff at the mountain house and moved out to San Diego. Along the way, I got to spend Easter with a lot of amazing people at the Miller house before driving down to Phoenix the next day.
On my way to San Diego from Phoenix, I got stopped by border patrol (to make sure I was not hiding any illegal immigrants). They proceeded to ask me, “Where are you coming from?” and “Where are you headed?”
The answer to the first was pretty simple and though I gave the easy answer for the second, it really got me thinking, where AM I going? I am getting married in less than six weeks. SIX WEEKS! I am in San Diego right now with the intention of finding a job to support my bride and myself, and then I am to find a place to live.
Up until this point, this all sounded pretty simple. I knew that it would be tough, but I think I am finally seeing the amount of work it requires and the raw emotions that go into it.
The part that scares me the most is that I do not feel in control of my life right now. I have always been a ‘planner’ and have each step of my life carefully planned out with some larger vision. Right now I am struggling for a vision. What am I doing here? Am I supposed to be in San Diego looking for a job? Why? Does God have different plans for me right now?
There, I did it. I mentioned God’s plans for me. Does anyone else get a weird feeling when talking about “God’s plans” for us instead of our own plans? You see, I am comfortable trusting myself, but I have a hard time trusting an all-powerful being that I cannot see, touch or feel. Ironic, eh?
This is a time in my life when I have little to no control. Whenever that happens, it brings me crawling back to God. It happens every time. And every time I learn to trust God for what he has in store for me, but as soon as I get control back into my life, I do not need Him anymore. I hope that this time around it sticks. I hope that I can learn to depend on God when I have things under control and when I do not.
Right now I am stuck in a hard spot. The only thing I really have a peace about is the fact that I will be marrying Lindsey in such a short period of time. I know that with her support and our faith in God, we will be just fine. It all sounds so cliché, and those of you who know me know that I hate clichés. Yet, clichés are clichés for a reason. I hope and I pray that I will discover God’s plan for Lindsey and me over the next couple of weeks.
